You may say a burrito is not a sandwich. You may even bring up a 2006 ruling by Superior Court Judge Jeffrey Locke as legal precedent to prove a burrito is not a sandwich. But around here, we use the definition provided by our technical director Robert Neuhaus: a sandwich is "animal protein encased in bread product." We use this not because it is correct, but because it allows us to eat the widest range of terrifying foods possible. Case in point: The Taco Bell "Beefy Crunch Burrito," a tortilla wrapped around "beef," cheese, rice, reduced fat (?) sour cream, and Flamin' Hot Fritos.
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